I had a bad feeling about getting tickets to the St. Louis Rush concert
right from the start. I don't know what it was or where it was coming from,
but it was the first time I had that feeling in a very long time. Long
enough for me to review my ticket stubs from the previous 18 of 30 shows
that I've seen. And in the last 18 shows, the worst I've had was a 15th row
ticket. So the standard has been pretty high.
The entire time Kelly is saying that it's some damn radio station's 25th
birthday, combined with the R30 tour, and Ticketbastard wasn't giving
anything up except rows TT, ZZ and WW. Sure, I'll pay $90 each for those
seats in the 60th row. No problem. Right. With my luck, we'd be just fine, I
assured her. It is, after all, a man's duty to protect his woman from undue
mental anguish. At least until the last possible minute. So I tried not to
show my apprehension of the whole situation until the latest possible
moment.
That moment was 7:53:00 p.m. on the day of the 8;00 p.m. show. In a move we
ticket aficionados called "caving in," I had to break down and buy the damn
lawn seats.
"Two please," I said, regretfully going up to the ticket window one more
time. A huge amount of emotions could be detected in the fluctuation of my
voice - guilt, despair, let down, caving in, anger, remorse - and Kelly. I
had let her down. But I know she had already mentally prepared herself. She
ended up consoling me more than me apologizing to her. But there were still
at least 500 people in line to get into the UMB Bank Pavilion - a guarantee
of being late for the first show of the tour we were going to see. Going to
see from the damn lawn. The grass. Good lord. Luckily Kelly has this psychic
gift of vision - she got the Mexican blanket from the car to prepare for
defeat pre-cave in.
The last time I sat on the lawn for anything - Rush or other band - was June
4, 1992 for god's sake. Can you believe that? What was that? Roll the Bones?
I knew it was at Irvine Meadows. It's like being a little kid and being
sent to your room with no dinner. You really fucked something up this time
around, didn't you?
Kelly was very, very nice. She knew I was boiling fuming mad - but it wasn't
that. It was bruised machismo and male ego. I made a promise and didn't
deliver. Not a good thing with a woman. Instead of being upset, she was
happy with what we had. Tried to convince me that it was cool to see the
show from the lawn. Yeah, right, sure.
"We have sixth row seats tomorrow night guaranteed," Kelly said. "This will
make tomorrow even better."
Yeah, sure, whatever you say girl. Believe me, I know we were missing
something big time. She just didn't understand it - not until the end of the
show where we did have those sixth row seats. Now she's spoiled forever
after that show, and suffering from a case of bronchitis for a week
afterward from yelling and screaming so much. She wasn't doing that on the
lawn. But she was doing something else. Hubba-Hubba-Hubba.
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You know, Kelly taught me to LIKE the lawn. The lawn is GOOD! Listen up now
guys, I'm telling you. The lawn is NOT so bad after all. Just say it a
couple of times and lay back on your elbows
and stretch your legs out and relax and enjoy the evening, the view and the
set list. You know, it's pretty dark up there on the lawn with all the dope
smokers and stuff, they're
all stoned and distracted. So it wasn't a problem at all.
Right about the time "Dreamline" came on, well, Kelly was pretty dreamy,
too. She was still trying to ease my pain of being banished to the lawn. As
a matter of fact,
I felt just fine, thank you. At first, well, you know, it was kind of
subtle. But then as the band launched into
"Secret Touch," there was no mistaking what was, well, going on!
This was a highly coordinated, well-thought out attack - some more of that
great perverted womanly forward thinking on her behalf. Or maybe it was her
womanly ability to nurture her man who had failed miserably, but lay in
defeat on the lawn with dignity. I was thinking maybe they should play
"Countdown" really quick and show that old
video clip of the shuttle blasting off. Now that's a new Rush experience for
you right there. Yee haw.
I think I really like the lawn. Yeah, it's okay. It's not so bad, really. I
really, really, really like the lawn. Sixth row wasn't bad either.
But the lawn was really nice. Ah, yeah. Try it sometime. You'll like that
location...riiiiiiigt about.....there. That's a good spot. Yes.
Riiiiiiiiight there.....oh!