INTRODUCTION
I've been dying to write this particular installment.

What can I say first? There was just so much feeling and emotion and excitement building up to this post and this evening in particular. Up to this point during the trip I was semi-relaxed and very expectant. Once at the venue, I was a total wreck inside. It's hard to keep the four or five hour span of time I'm about to relate organized and concise. I'll just focus on the show, because that's what this whole trip was about, and what it was about for me to be a Rush fan.

Year after year and tour after tour went by, and I always said, "Man, I'm going to Toronto this year!" But it never seemed to happen, either because of money, youth or no support/hook-up with other fans. But thanks to all the people I've met on the NMS, especially Charles, Laurie, Pwoman, et.al., and all the information I've found useful here...it all came together like a puzzle over 10 years in the making.

A phrase kept going though my mind during the whole show...and it was "A dream died tonight." And isn't that what dreams or fantasies do if they come true? Isn't it even better when Dreamline comes on first? Dreams come true with anything sometimes...that killer job, having a baby, getting that great car you've saved and saved and saved for, getting a house, a promotion, whatever it may be for each individual.

The real rush is being on the edge of that dream (to borrow a bit of Satriani influence, no doubt), and most of the time it's a fleeting moment or something...but this one kept going and going as the set list disappeard into the humid Toronto night air. Okay, that's enough introduction!

HARD ROCKIN'
Charles and I decided that if there was a time to go to the Hard Rock Cafe at the Skydome, it was for a pre-show eat. So eat we did. The food wasn't nearly as spectacular as the gold album from Grace Under Pressure (500,000 copies or more sales) and a framed cover of A Farewall to Kings, signed by Geddy Lee. There was also an old Counterparts official laminate all access pass there, too. You would think that there would be a few guitars or picks or sticks or something special...but it wasn't there.

THE VENUE
Charles and I got to the Molsen Amphitheatre at about 4 p.m. or so to hang out, sneak around, listen to sound check even if it was from a distance (and it was), and I usually like to get there early to meet people, enjoy the scene, look for better tickets if needed and generally blend in with people who share the love of the music. I love so much just being able to hang out and see the thousands of fans, and looking at them and wondering what the attraction to the music is.

The Molson Amphitheater is right next to Lake Ontario, and there's a water park there with slides and pools and stuff. The whole area is called Ontario Park. This first show was sold out, and capacity was 16,000. It seems like everything in Canada, billboards, signs, buildings, flashing billboards, had the word "Molsen" on it. The Molson Amphitheater sign was red and blue neon. The ticket window was very small, probably only about four windows, but never seemed too crowded. The whole thing was located on Lakeshore Drive. I kept humming, "Lakeshore Drive...hmm hmm hmm hmmm mmm, Lakeshore Drive......hmmm hummm hummm hum hummmmm..." Pretty funny, eh? Anyone else make this connection?

Oh yeah. A good addition to the FAQ and for Rush fans who want to know...it was the first time Rush ever played at Molson. It's a new venue.

THE VEST
Hanging out before the show...I like the attention that I get from other fans and stuff at the shows. Those who know me know it's not hard to recognize me out of a crowd of 16,000 people. The vest that I wear over my NMS shirt to the shows is unmistakable. It's covered with patches and pins and all kinds of Rush collectables. Not only is it representative to my level of "fandom" but it brings a lot of things with it when I wear it.

It's not a backstage pass, but almost. For instance, at many shows, people who I've never met come up to me and say, "Hey, I saw you at (insert show here!), dude, it's great to see you! Glad you made it here! Man, you had great seats!" People come up to me, ask me how many shows I've seen, and where on this tour or that tour...then they choose a pin or two and say those are their favorites. I never fail to answer anyone and be quite enjoyable and say thank you for noticing. Having a guy from Salt Lake City come up to me in Toronto who saw me at the San Diego shows and say hello...brings with it a huge amount of satisfaction. The vest is a serious magnet to other multiple show, huge fans. I love meeting every person that comes up to me. A guy took a picture of me at Molsen and said he was going to send it in to the fanzine "A Show of Fans." Look for it at a 7-Eleven newsstand near you.

Ushers and security personnel have also been somewhat lenient with me from tour to tour, taking more interest in the vest than my seat location on occasion. I've been lucky enough to be waved through a ticket check down in the first 10 rows many times because of that vest. A good example of this type was at the Star Lake show in Pittsburgh, when parking attendents saw my dark sunglasses and vest and stuff, and waved me into the VIP lot and saved me the parking fee. Oh yeah!

I haven't gotten many pins in trade at shows and stuff, mainly because I wouldn't part with anything on the vest. But aquiring pins and stuff from sponsoring radio stations (gave me about 50 pins), service personnel and stuff has always been pretty easy. People love giving me an expendable pin and watching me put it on the vest jimmy on the spot. There's more about the power of the vest later on in this post that's very important. The most powerful thing about the vest is that the band and the roadies and crew recognize it from several tours, which is also highly advantageous, as you will read about later on.

It's also great getting to any show early and seeing our group of NMS subscribers grow and grow in a little sub-group among all the fans. I've been to a lot of shows solo because most of my friends/co-workers could care less about a Rush show, so this tour has been made even more wonderful for me because of the company. There's been a lot, you know who you are, and thank you...goodnight!

A SHOW OF.....A LIFETIME.
Whew. Getting tickets to this first show was rough. First I got four from TB (ticketbastard) that were 400's. Then about a week before the show I got four more when they released a few blocks in 200's. I say rough, because that's about $320US for our group. I was lucky to have sold the four extras, well below cost. Anyway, the amphitheater was great. The 100 section was "sunk" down, so that in 200, the level was way above their heads, so the view of the stage was unobstructed. The sound this night was excellent and the LOUDEST I've heard in the 9 TFE shows I've seen, even from about 30 yards away. I remember that on the RTB tour there were some pretty loud shows, but this one was cranked way up there. Quite possibly the loudest I've ever heard. We were just right and 10 rows ahead of of the soundboard, probably 30 rows off the front of the stage.

The most noticable thing about the venue though, was the flurry of activity among camera and lighting people. There was a huge camera boom that looked like a crane on stage left (Geddy) with a video camera on it, which was absent from any of the other shows I saw this time around. It focused on the band members exclusively the entire night. Other cameras operated by people were going up and down the aisles of the audience, and there were at least three other camera men suspended up in the rigging as well. It was quite obvious that this was a special night for the band, whether it be film for the ole' archives or for...a video? Video?

And with this presence apparent, I don't think there were any technical flaws during the show. The light show seemed brighter, maybe including some new effects and lighting tuneups. The lasers have been inconsistent all tour long, as far as I've seen, and during this show, there were more than usual. Also, the lasers were "better" because they used more dry ice during the whole show to intensify the effects of all the lighting. Very noticeable were two changes to the video presentation. A video featuring walking dinosaurs during Tom Sawyer and some kind of yellow, swirling, tunnel-like melting-combining balls of mercury- type fractal objects appeared mid-point to end of Natural Science. The set list was unchanged. The show began at 8:15 instead of 7:30 or 8:00, probably because it stays lighter out up north longer.

Ever the man on the alert, Charles was informed enough to point out some key people in attendance that night. Neil's parents were over one section and up front in section 203. Ray Daniels was hanging out stage left....

Before the show, there was one thing that I had to take care of. Unfinished business from this whole tour, if you will. As I mentioned before about the "power of the vest" I've been hanging out near the sound board before shows almost every show. At Pittsburgh, a crew member named Ed (wouldn't give me his last name) befriended me. He liked my vest and stuff. I saw him playing around with a drumstick at Star Lake, and I kinda hinted that it would be totally cool to have one. He said sure, just come back at intermission. Well, at intermission (Star Lake), he just brushed me off like he forgot or something.

But at Toronto, hey, he saw me, and greeted me with...a fully intact used stick. I didn't even ask for it, he just said, "Oh yeah, hey, here you go!" He seemed to be in a great mood that moment, and that moment was great. Oh my god, you couldn't belive the look on my face. I figured he'd recognize me and just brush me off again...but everything came together. It was totally unreal. Not only was I at Toronto, I got my first true piece of...band history there too. There wasn't a happier person in that city at that moment, I guarantee it.

When the fill music stopped, lights went down, drumstick in hand...man, I think those were the biggest, longest lasting goose bumps that my skin has ever felt. Here's where I get emotional about this experience...if you can bear with me. The tears streeming down my face at that point were tears of joy, and nothing else. It seemed like things just kept getting better and better and better as the night progressed timelessly. I thought of people seeing me in tears, but didn't really care. I've never cried because of any music or anything, but it was unavoidable. Boom. Just hit me. I just kind of stood there and enjoyed it for a few songs, especially during Half the World, because it felt like HTW was all gathered at Molsen, and it was more like I've spent Half my Life waiting for this to happen. It's also my favorite song of the CD.

And considering the fact that during my stay in Toronto, I met NMS people and other fans from San Diego, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Dallas, Denver, Guatemala, Portugal, Brazil, North Carolina, New Jersey, Utah, Florida, California, Arizona, Hawaii, Canada (lots of provinces), when that airplane started circling the world on the video screen....all I could yell was YEAH! at the top of my lungs. In a surreal moment, it just felt like all the shows I've ever seen in all the cities I've traveled to since Signals in 1983, man, it was all right there wrapped up into one package at Molsen. Quite the emotional/intellectual experience.

A great moment came when Geddy spoke to the crowd. "Hello all you Torontonians out there! It's great to be playing our home town again!" I said to myself, "Damn, did he REALLY just say that we're all here in Toronto with them or what?! We are! We're in Toronto! YEAH!" I couldn't help but think what all the rest of the people in attendance who had traveled far and wide to get here were feeling when he said that! Yes! It's true! We're all here! I don't know any exact figures, but for sure, there was a HUGE contingent of non-Torontonians there...I'd have to estimate that probably, oh, maybe, maybe, about 1 person in 10 was not from Toronto or Canada...that would make it maybe 1,600 to 2,000 people. But that's just a guess.

Flawless. There's no need to really talk about individual songs or this and that, because that's been done here on the NMS plenty. No dropped sticks. No feedback from Alex' guitar, no miscued sequences...nothing. Flawless. The perfect concert. Without question. Worth every second it took me to realize I needed to get to Toronto for a show. Unbelievable.

INTERMISSION
What can I say? I was so overwhelmed by everything, I just wanted to say THANK YOU! to someone, and that someone turned out to be Mr. Ed at the sound board. And when I went back to him during halftime and shook his hand and told him I had so much to be thankful for to be here, he leaned over to me and asked me if he had given me one stick or two. I said "One." Ed said, "Here, make it a pair, no, make it three, thanks for coming back! Have a great show!" and then I had a pair and a spare. Three sticks. Completely unheard of.

I gave the spare to Brooke, who I met at the Orbit room the previous night, because, fate had it, she was standing right next to me. It could have been anyone standing there...even you. If there is a word better than unbelievable to describe this, then email me privately and tell me what it is, 'cause I don't know what else to say. I know there are A LOT of people out there that have wanted or been deserving of a pick or a stick or something at one time or another, and that there are lots of you that probably deserve that or want it so bad it hurts...and I don't want anyone feeling bad that I got the sticks. It's been a looooooooong time coming. I can't say how many times/hours/days/shows I've been to and asked and been polite asking for sticks or something before and after all the shows...it took a LOT of networking and just the right opportunity for it to happen, and it did. It just happened.Complete fate. I guess maybe Ed thought that I needed the second one to grip onto when I started balling again during Test for Echo and Resist. Good thing it was plenty dark by then!

AFTERIMAGE
You know when you get that feeling like you're 10 feet off the ground? I think I was back on top of CN Tower walking out of Molsen, especially since that landmark was clearly visable only a few miles away, lit up like a firefly (sorry Neal, I couldn't Resist) in the Toronto sky.

There were two parties to contemplate participating in after the show. One was at a place called the Phoenix Club, the other obvious one was the Orbit Room. A group of about 10 of us went to the O-Room (because we anticipated a huge crowd at Phoenix) and were lucky. It was uncrowded and not loud...because my ears sure were ringing from the show. What better way to calm down then to have a good beer, a glass of water and talk about the show with Subdivisions playing on the PA. Subdivisions? How appropriate was that for me? That was the first tour I saw...Signals. Completely...wonderful and bizzare. How many of us want our favorite watering hole to play some Rush tunes? Play some Rush, YEAH! Yeah, right. If you want it, you can get it at the O-Room.

I had excellent seats at Star Lake (seems like a key show to this whole tour to me), and I've taken along a little Minolta point-and-shoot camera and have had mixed results at every show. But at Star Lake, I got some awesome shots, and I had them in the truck, so I broke them out and shared them with our group to pass the time. Everyone was tired, Rushed out and ready to begin the recovery process for the next show, which was two more days away.

As far as I was concerned, ha, the other show coming up was icing on the cake. After this show, I felt like a complete Rush fan, and nothing could ever be better or more satisfying. That's a really good way of summarizing, just the completeness. The dream died, but it will be alive in my head for the rest of my life, I think.

Sometimes it's really scary reaching a dream or a milestone, like if you get it, the excitement or the chase disappears. I've been to so many concerts in general...probably about 300 or so over the years, all headline acts and stuff...I had some of the same general feelings during Page and Plant (Unleaded) and Pink Floyd (Division Bell), but hey, this was just soooooo different. Really intense.

It was Rush, it was Toronto, it was all the great people I've met on this tour, all under one roof and up to the last row of folks up on the lawn. The surreal descriptions continue to the end of this post...if there was a night, a perfect night that involved anyone doing anything one would want to do...It just felt that this night completely belonged to me within my my own experience - I felt completely whole as a person and a Rush fan. The Dream died, but was also realized that night, and thank god that I'll be able to remember it forever.